Via Essence.com
Dear Abiola,
I have been married to my dear husband for two and a half years. Unfortunately, I have also been having revenge sex with a man at work for two years.

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It may sound like a mess, but my husband cheated first. I found out two days before we got married that he had been sleeping with the mother of his son. She was the one who told me, hoping I would cancel my wedding. I didn’t give her the satisfaction. We were together for about 18 months before we got married and he was still having sex with his baby’s mother during almost a year of that time.
I was devastated, but I agreed to go ahead with the wedding. About a month later, I decided to flirt back with this much younger man at my job. I am 39, my husband is 42, and the guy I cheated with is 27. My young “boyfriend” is actually my employee.
Bae really gave me my life back. It was like something off of TV.
One of us would text and then we would meet up and get it however, wherever – my car, his car, hotels, motels, his garage, the small company bathroom in the basement. This man rocked my world. I always told my husband I had “work emergencies.”
Then I was finally able to TRULY forgive my husband for everything because we started going to therapy. I have fallen back in love with my man and we are very happy together. The therapist said we needed to come clean about everything from our pasts. We even had a therapy session with the ex baby mama since I have to still interact with her. But the therapist was talking about him coming clean not me — because nobody else knows what I have been up to.
A few times I have tried to break it off with my employee but he threatened to tell my husband if I don’t keep sexing him. He has explicit photos and and intimate texts from me and says he won’t give up without a fight. He claims to be in love with me. The affair is no longer fun because now I feel like I am being forced. I don’t want to break up my home and my marriage. Things with my man are finally working out.
I have thought about maybe convincing my husband that we need to move to another city. But I have a great position I worked very hard for in my field and I just hit the $100K mark. We also want to still have our own babies while we can.
My question to you is: do I need to tell my husband about the affair? Or should I just keep my mouth shut? What should I do?
Signed,
Caught Between a Man and a Hard Place


Find My Answer on ESSENCE.com






xoxo, Abiola
P.S. You can find my sacred self-esteem and sensuality advice column on ESSENCE.com and meanwhile, I am proud to introduce a new Sacred Bombshell column, ‘One Man’s Advice.’
‘One Man’s Advice’ from Brent Reeves is your love, sexuality, dating, marriage, and relationship advice from a man’s point of view. Keep Reading!

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