By Sharee Silerio
In life, we all have moments that we want to wish away. Whether it’s losing a loved one, financial struggles, an illness, a dead end career or strained relationships, everyone is going through or trying to get through something.
“Queen Sugar” is no different, which is why I love this show so much! It’s so real, and often reminds me of my life at the present time or of what I have experienced. The show’s representation of life, love, hurt, healing and self-discovery is beautiful.
This week’s episode carries a couple of major themes throughout it – control and fear. We fear what we cannot control and we try to control what we fear.
Charley, Micah, Aunt Vi and Darla demonstrate what fear looks like; in their facial expressions, actions, words and being. It’s amazing to witness how they learn that their fears are unfounded or how to push through them anyway.
This episode, titled “Caroling Dusk”, starts with Charley and Micah talking about their therapy session, Nova and Dr. Dubois connecting in love, Charley realizing that her childhood has crept its way into her adulthood, and Darla feeling the impact of her absence in Blue’s life.
Here is my “Reel Noire” recap of last night’s episode, on the sweet lessons that stood out to me:
1. There is nothing wrong with seeking therapy when you need it. Sometimes we need help to unpack the wounds, frustrations and struggles of the past and present in order to move forward in a healthy way.
In the beginning of the episode, Charley is sitting on a couch in an office calling Micah. He is supposed to be there for his first therapy session, but isn’t able to come. The therapist tells Charley that it’s helpful to talk to her client’s parents so she can help them better, but Charley wants to stick to her concerns with Micah. When Charley can’t weasel her way out of the situation, she takes a long, cautious breath.
2. Learn to take care of yourself before you let others take care of you. You don’t need anyone to rescue you. Rescue yourself.
Last week, Darla lost her job at the parking garage because she went to the farm to help Ralph Angel instead of completing her shift like her manager told her to. Since then, she’s been looking for a job so she can support herself, and Ralph Angel wants her to move in with him. She stays stands strong and tells him that she needs to be able to stand on her own two feet by herself.
Are Ralph Angel & Darla ready to take the next step? Catch up on last night's episode of #QUEENSUGAR with Watch OWN. https://t.co/2VBXIRB7HR pic.twitter.com/6kGjBxxcAw— Queen Sugar (@QueenSugarOWN) July 13, 2017
3. Striving for perfection stunts personal growth. Progress is the road to freedom and fulfilling all of your potential. Instead of finding a way around obstacles, discover a way to get through them, and choose to learn something in the process.
During the impromptu therapy session, Charley ends up revealing that she felt like her mother wanted her to be perfect growing up. She calls Nova, who shows up to her house after sensing that she needs some sister time. Nova performs a home cleansing ritual then they talk over dinner. After discussing Micah and their new life in St. Josephine’s, Charley reminisces about how much she practiced playing the piano as a child, including the time she walked out of a recital in the middle of her performance because she couldn’t handle the pressure. She mentions that her mom told her she should find a new hobby and they never talked about it again.
4. Give yourself a fresh start each and every time you need it. Start over whenever, however, wherever and as often as you need to. Sometimes creating something from nothing is the only way to see things clearly.
At the same dinner, Nova tells Charley that her momma made her a control freak, adding that “You have a blank slate, with yourself and with Micah. Color it how you want.” Charley tells Nova, “Well, your slate is blank now, too.”
5. Fear is something we must get through in order to fully live this thing called life. We can’t avoid it. It will always exist in some form. Let fear motivate you to make a difference, to become and accomplish all you can be.
Micah and Davis walk into the gym when Davis says that they’re going to play a special basketball game. When either of them shoots a three-pointer, they get to ask the other a question, no topic off limits. Micah shoots a “3” first, then asks Davis a question. Davis shoots one next then asks Micah if the cops roughed him up. Micah responds then says that he felt out of control and was scared, and it was something he hadn’t experienced before. Davis replies, “Fear is a rite of passage for us. The question is, how do you use it to make yourself smarter and better.”
6. Building your dream from the ground up is tough. Resistance doesn’t mean that it’s time for you to give up. Nothing worthwhile comes easy. You have to keep on when things get difficult, when people tell you no, and especially when you don’t feel like it. You must believe in yourself, and surround yourself with people who believe in you, even when you don't believe in yourself.
After Hollywood taste-tests Aunt Vi’s pies, she takes them to local restaurants in the neighborhood to see if they’d like to sell them to their customers. The next day, she’s in the bed when Hollywood walks in the door. He asks her if she’s going to get out of the bed and she tells him that she doesn’t feel like dealing with people. She tears up while telling him that every place she went to said no. He asks her if she’s going to listen to sad songs all day, then says, “That ain’t the Vi I know...it was one day. One very hard, bad day. But you ain’t got to let it turn into two.”
We can all learn something from Hollywood and Aunt Vi’s relationship. #QUEENSUGAR pic.twitter.com/pOFeANU8p9— Queen Sugar (@QueenSugarOWN) July 13, 2017
7. The way you treat other people comes back to you, whether it’s good or bad. We’ve heard this many times before, but treat others the way you want to be treated. Reaping and sowing, also known as karma, is real.
Ralph Angel is in an alley, digging in a dumpster when two cops pull up on him (if you watched, then you know why he’s doing this, lol). As he shows his face to them, one of the cops recognizes him, and saves his behind. Toine, the cop who saves him, is a transgender man that Ralph Angel has been friends with for years. During their conversation about Darla and Ralph Angel’s protectiveness of Blue, Toine thanks Ralph Angel for supporting and looking out for him in high school and later in life.
Did you watch the fifth episode of “Queen Sugar”? What are some of your favorite moments?