The invention of the car was a pretty big deal, I’ll admit. Sending men to the moon was a major achievement. The Internet? Eh, I use it sometimes… But the greatest invention in the past 150 years: jeans. I’m wearing them right now. I wore them yesterday. I’ll probably wear them tomorrow. I’d venture to say that I will wear them at least four days out of the week for the rest of my life (or until we all finally get to start wearing those silver jumpsuits of the future). I have one man to thank for this glorious item: Levi Strauss, who would have turned 185 this past Wednesday. But since I’m still bitter about the US men’s hockey team losing to Canada in Sochi— and to recognize another maybe-not-entirely-obvious fashion icon, Johnny Cash, who would’ve been 82 this week—I’m suggesting an alternative to the so-called “Canadian Tuxedo”: all black denim.
1. R13 Oversized Trucker Stretch-Denim Jacket: A good jean jacket is a staple in any wardrobe. But separate yourself from everyone and their mom by going for a darker, roomier cut.
2. BLK DNM 8 High-Rise Skinny Jeans: Hands down, the best jeans on the market. If you have hips that don’t lie or a booty that Sir Mix-a-Lot would wax poetic over, consider trading in all your denim for these. No more whale-tales. No more of that awkward wiggle-pull when you stand up. Universally flattering, leg elongating, waist-narrowing denim in true black has arrived.
3. Goldsign Holly Denim Skirt: Jean skirts are back. I’m not talking about the frayed Abercrombie micro-mini we all wore to high school parties (though, maybe it’s time to revisit that painfully preppy past? No? Just me?), but rather a fashion-friendly, svelte, casual take on the workingwoman favorite that is a black pencil skirt.
4. Ksubi Albuquerque Cut-Offs: The secret to fitting in at the Gloffice in weather north of 65 degrees is wearing these Australian cut-offs. Not because we’re cool and trendy, but because they’re the next best thing to wearing pajamas. I recommend going a few sizes up for a roomier fit, and to avoid giving too much of a peep show to an unsolicited audience.
5. Converse Chuck Taylor Denim Low-Top Sneaker: Instead of going for the classic (and emo favorite) black canvas, let the slightly heathered black denim Chucks be your default comfort shoe. And thanks to Kristen Stewart circa the 2009 MTV Movie Awards and that cool guy at prom/graduation/that wedding, casual footwear is now equally appropriate for both a formal occasion and a low-key Sunday stroll (or a game of 1970s pick-up basketball, wherever your week takes you).